Whether it's their weight (too heavy, too thin), a tat, the breakout color of their hair, their clothing choices--whatever--we are unwise to say anything about our adult child's appearance. The following observation from Philip Galanes, he of Social Qs, started life as advice to a reader who wanted to comment on a stranger's tattoos. The core of Galanes' advice is as germane to us vis a vis our adult children as it is to the querying reader.
....[C]omments about appearance are often unwelcome, end even compliments betray an unappealing entitlement to judge.
painting: Van Gogh