We cling to the joy we remember from our early child-rearing days "in the hope of sucking vigour from its vitality." Thus wrote Philosopher and Logician Bertrand Russell in his essay, "How to Grow Old."
The early 20th century "influencer" didn't stop there. He also touched on parents and their relationship to their grown children, writing nearly a century ago:
When your children are grown up they want to live their own lives, and if you continue to be as interested in them as you were when they were young, you are likely to become a burden to them … I do not mean that one should be without interest in them, but one's interest should be contemplative and, if possible, philanthropic, but not unduly emotional.
He amplified his point about the personal dangers of being overly involved in our adult children's lives, and much of what he had to say--maintain your own interests; don't live your life around your children's lives--resonates today.
As to the dangers of not weaning ourselves from our day-to-day involvement in our adult children's lives, he wrote in his stiff and arch-like British prose:
But if you are one of those who are incapable of impersonal interests, you may find that your life will be empty unless you concern yourself with your children and grandchildren. In that case you must realise that while you can still render them material services, such as making them an allowance or knitting them jumpers, you must not expect that they will enjoy your company.
Russell was never one to sugarcoat anything, no less the parenting of adult children.
You can find even more about Russell's musings in this MSN essay What Do Adult Children Owe Their Parents?
painting: Bonnard, The Conversation.
