Thanks to Susan Adcox and her blog on grandparenting, I've come across a transcript of a 1996 This American Life show with the theme of "Adult Children."
Part I is a conversation between Ira Glass, host of This American Life, and his mother, a family therapist who, at the time of the conversation, has been asked to lead a discussion of a women's group on the subject of adult children. She called her children to help her key in on advice they would give to the group about communicating with your children and about having a good relationship with your adult children.
in the transcript of the conversation between Ira Glass and his mother, Shirley, there's this little gem:
Ira Glass: ..if you had to characterize in a phrase people's relationships with their children, would you describe them as being very good, somewhat OK, generally kind of yucky? I mean, how would you describe it?
Shirley Glass: I would say that there were a lot of people whose dreams haven't been realized, whose expectations haven't been met. And so there's a sense of disappointment, although there were some people there who were pleased with all aspects.
As the conversation progressed, Ira's mother shared a checklist she had come up with for gauging how satisfied parents were with their adult children. Her findings:
- Is married.
- Lives near the parents
- Has children (grandchildren for the grandparents)
- Is successful
- Is married to someone the parents approve of
- Appreciates the parents.
Susan wondered, as do I, if anyone has come up with a similar checklist our grown children might have in their heads to gauge their satisfaction with us. Would it include such items as
*Likes my spouse/significant other
*Has stopped pressing my hot buttons
*Will babysit anytime, anywhere and play by my parenting rules
Got any more generic gauges to add? Write on......