Parenting as a Grandparent: New parents feel their way toward appreciating your help.

I checked in with Mom Oasis--I had commented on one of the talking points the host posted and wanted to follow the string. It was worth the trip over. The subject was "How do you balance needing help from your parents with your own desire for independence?" We all know how we feel about providing that extra measure of wisdom, comfort, helping hands and shared love for their child/your grandchild. What's less clear from our side of the parenting equation is, how do they feel? So here was a chance for some first-hand information.

I found one comment particularly insightful, coming as it did from a grateful recipient of grown-child parenting and grandparenting. The key point for me was this comment: "I went through a long period where I felt I had to prove myself and felt weak if I called upon my parents for help.  Now I am at peace with their involvement [and] so appreciative of their role in raising my children."

We should all be so lucky to have our children feel so positively about our role in their lives. But clearly, this young mother didn't get to her appreciation point easily. I take this as a reminder that there are times when we have to stand back--but still stand in there.

 

Comments

[Susan Adcox]

There is a fine balance needed in the give-and-take of parent and adult child relationships. I don't want an adult child who feels entitled to my time and my money. On the other hand, I don't want it to be a struggle every time I want to lend a helping hand.